baby wont you tell me why?

there is sadness in your eyes..i dont wanna say goodbye to you..love is one big illusion, i shld try to forget, but there is something left in my head.

but im not the man you're heart is missing, thats why you go away i know..

today was a great day..not really actually..but.quite so..yeah.i guess..went to school..and did stuff lo.yeah.hahaha.but the jokes were really funny..HAHAHAHHA.kohlberg's brother, iceberg.hahahah.then there was the pencil case thing.hahha.oh anyway..i like.cut my hair..shaved.and.yeah.ready for tmr..yay!

sian la..still have a long way before feb 19th.like wth?? zz.sian leh.im listening to vitas now.without fail.opera #2..oh anyway.the juniors rocked the courts yesterday..OMG! WINNERS! HUA ZHONG! EHHHHHH!!!!!!

zzz.hahaha.somebody in denial that shes pretty man.

ciao

zz

last night, i had an epiphany..or revelation, so to speak..hahaha.it was great.i understood alot of things..like.really..not joking.it was great.

i told my mum, i finally understood how things worked...i feel like i've matured, but there are so many other things for me to find out..more and more.i'll nvr understand everything that happened.hahah.

nt that i wanna make myself seem smart..but sometimes, knowing some things which nobody else knows you know can be quite tiring and sad..its when you have the ans sheet in front of you.and ppl tell lies..its just sad..ok la.i knw i deserve it man.cos i lie most of the time..its because of my lies that im paranoid..afraid that others are lying too..but i feel that trust has already been lost in this world..everyone tells lies, even if they say they dont..yahh..thats why i said.it sucks to knw the truth..at least if you dont knw, you can kid yourself into believing that what you know is true.

that was random..i mean.yeah..since last year.i knew alr..all along.hahaha

for now, im going to finish the rest of my days in cj slacking and playing bball..its time to start training alr.skills abit rusty.lol! today 3 pt percentage super low.zz..under basket was like shit too..but at least...i guess..i retained something of the past..the will to fight nvr dies.hahaha.i was just playing arnd the whole day, but when i ran full court, i felt like..omg..wow.im still me.我还是原来的我。

yeahh.im abit tired..cos i had to run through orchard to look meet kl and wil at cine.zz.those two ah..i play bball play until halfway suddenly come call me ask me go watch movie..guess wat.one missed call! lol.it was great la.i mean.4p brothers.hahahah =) it brightened up my day..

there is sadness in your eyes, i dont want to say goodbye to you.love is one big illusion, i shld try to forget, there is something left in my head..

now you want me to forget, every little thing you said

but there is something left in my head.

i wanna play bball again tmr.but theres conditioning.zz.oh yeah.err.yeah.yah...err.hmm..ahhh...forget it..

hahaha.here there everywhere..haha.i tell you la.i thought everything was going to be okay.well..life's like that? i guess?

eh heh yeah heh..whats my first choice???? give a guess, you'll never make it.

dont thrash talk if you cant play well..might as well save that energy to train and improve la.

im ready..im ready to go.i realised..this place doesnt have much for me to rmb actually..just a bunch of lies.

hahaha.ehh.sister, remember the amnesia i hoped for last year? hahah..i didnt really get it.my comp crashed la.but thats not really amnesia huh..i wish for amnesia this year.but not in the form of comp crash.

the past month has been so...unreal.yeah

ciao

nobody really cares

here, there and everywhere...lol i just realised that alot of things.

firstly, i havent trained in a long time...must start soon.zz..since im moving on.no matter where im going, i'll continue playing ball..havent played for so long la..im starting to feel that bball is really really my life..i mean..i knew that long ago.but its a confirmation..haha <3 (-)--(-)

i'll choose in 5 hrs..no matter where i go, i'll train hard, do my best to make the team, and try freaking hard to make it to top 4..its my new dream.yeah.im watching tapes to learn la.new moves..blah blah.problem is.its not easy to play one position in bball..specialisation and trade doesnt work man..having played all sorts of positions in different games, its a little easier for me to understand the game..yeah.

to be a guard you need vision and precision.to be a forward you need tenacity and decisiveness.to be a center you need determination and agility.hahaha.of course, you need these for all positions --> speed, explosiveness, jump, strength, stamina, endurance.....it goes on.well.split the jobs.guards pass the ball and shoot.forwards mainly drive and shoot.the center is mainly in charge of rebounds and inside scoring <---wrong concept

bball is a team game..the center is not in charge of getting rebounds..its part of his job, but its not his sole responsibility..everyone has the responsibility of getting rebounds too..esp the forwards.shldnt just stand there and scold centers when they dont manage to get rebounds.well.centers are not supermen.up against the other team, you need a team effort to box out in order to get the rebound..same thing goes for passing and shooting.actually i believe in all roundedness..yeah.hahaha.

every position is impt..every job is fun..when you taste victory, you'll knw it was worth it..i wanna play bball tmr..hahaha

fun fun fun..eeyer.i dont dare to wear no.14 jersey to school leh..later kena bashed up la

zzz.

oh my crystal..

i really dont knw where to go from here..vj sa aj cj.sian leh..anyway..about yesterday

gahh man.we must have been crazy to drink vodka..gahh..omg man..i think about it i wanna puke ok..i dont wanna drink vodka again for a long time..oh god.yuck.yuck man

i woke up with no headache..but i cldnt rmb much.i rmb we were at dhoby ghaut.got really nasty..i think i called some ppl.cant rmb what i said though.i knw i fell down because i tried to jump.very pain.i rmb we took the last train back to tp.where we took at cab to my hse.i alighted and managed to pull myself home.dad opened the door, saying: 酒味都闻得到，还说没有喝酒。。 i msged kl and wil to tell them that i was home.msged a few others to apologise for my weird behaviour..then went to sleep alr.cldnt take it.but it didnt feel funny.

woke up 6 this morning right..felt nth leh.i thought.great, no hangover..got myself a cup of water with abit of honey..ate a biscuit..arnd 8.i felt like puking.wth.i just went to the toilet bowl, felt the choking feeling.but nth came out.just abit of water and lots of saliva.felt a little better.a little.im ok now la.no more puking feeling..

i teared just now while singing school song..i repeated it 30 over times.in diff keys.first i did c major.then i decided g was nicer..yeah.but anyway.its really emo.i mean..for the past 4 years we sang that school song without giving a damn about anything..today is really the first day i start to understand the significance of our graduation.hahaha

anyway..dont feel like doing work.just wanna rest.play piano.play guitar.eat dinner.go sleep..dont wanna think.oh shit..still have to choose schs..heck la.really.heck.

ciao

yeah.

华中零七年毕业的四巳班。。太神了。哈哈哈哈

be grateful we got those kind of results.hahahaha.remember?? every holiday we'd go.eh..we chiong playing in the hols.come back must pia for o lvls..all the way up till september..hahahaha.i rmb.we were still playing..zz.4P rocks.for life..mom told me: for the amt of effort you put in, you dont deserve what you got..be grateful.hahaha.im not happy la.cos.as always.yeah.i cld have put in a little more.that kinda crap.ya knw? hahah.

sian got piano later..but its okay.the thing is what comes after piano.last sat we had ig dinner..this saturday.HHAHHAHAHAHA.COME ON!!!

ATTENTIONNNN!!!! well..for ppl who want to knw the truth about stuff right..call tonight.because unlike being drunk the other day when i spouted nonsense about 23 pts.sorry to all who were worried.lol.i'll knw not to drink on a lvl results release.sorry ah..i'll be freaking drunk and wasted tonight.really.damn drunk.i wont be able to tell lies..really really.and im telling ppl this because.i think some misconceptions shld be cleared.hahaha.i'll tell.really.must make use of it wor.4P BROTHERS LETS GO!!! shit man.tonight only got 4 ppl.i think we'll be able to afford one bottle of absolut with some lime to mix..settle la.dont pangseh.no more lies tonight.i promise <--not a lie.as long as im asked about sth.i'll tell the truth.

tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk....sad sad sad.cannt go hc.cannt go rj..my dreams..shattered leh.bo bian la..its like that one

cannt give up..cannt give up.im thinking about appealing to vj.but think about it.going there by myself.going home by myself.eee.so far..dont knw la.i'll give it my best shot.as in like..really.my best shot.hahah.shot is a pun.

一二三，华中！EHHH! 华中！EHHH! 华中！！！！ EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

byebye

没有任何一种形容词能表达我现在的心情。。

well..what can i say? i got nothing to say.hahaha.after all this time..hahaha.i really got nth to say la..im listening to blind now.yeah.so..the lyrics.

hahaa.shit results..now..cannt do anything alr.im getting moody.hahah.how can i get moody?? hahaha.humiliation.zz














well.i cant watch the show now.because it wld start me off.but its exactly what i did..

who would have thought man..who would have thought..i let myself down..

我不晓得到底有几个人真的关心我，在乎我。。不过就算没有也没关系啦。。废物一个。好伤心。不要轻言而弃。。我没办法了。放弃吧。猗与华中 南方之强 我中华之光，雄立狮岛 式是炎荒 万世其无疆。。

别怕。我不会自杀。。自杀解决不了问题。父母照顾我一生，我就算不自爱，也会爱他们。。
华中的朋友。对不起。。让你们失望了。我们大学见吧。我永远都是华中的校友。虽然不能与你们渡过这最后两年，不过我会时时刻刻想着你们。。有空我一定回华中。由始至终，我都是华中子弟。华中这座大山，永远都是我第二个家。队友们！我们永远是队友。十年后，每个星期六一起回华中打球。。我好怀念我们一起打球的日子。。尤其是我们的友情。我在公初真得找不到几个真心好友。

记得当年，我们打球的默契。。喔！想起来我就兴奋哩。哈哈哈。记得中二吗？哈哈。当年我们打球的乐趣。想不到今天竟然得分开了。我好难过。哎呀。不行。。再说下去我得哭了。。正在听三月九日。我好想哭。。

我要写出人间最美丽的歌送给你。可惜。。我没本事做到。

对不起大家。让你们失望了。
再见了公初，再见了华初，再见了莱初。。

我不再让你孤单。至少我尽力而为。没办法了。我去不了白城。

哈哈哈哈。。苦笑。不甘愿啊。

再见了。

没办法了

好烦啊。



我好不喜欢别人骗我喔。。其实，我很讨厌被骗。这样好了，不如下次不要相信他人，就不会被骗了。被骗的感觉好逊啊。。鸡蛋糕的。老实说，其实我没有那么笨，心里也有种不想的预感。。但是，骗子的谎言总是好逼真。要不信都难。算了。我好为难哦。我不喜欢被骗，也不喜欢骗人。当我认真地说一句话时，一定是真心的。。烦的哩。还有专题作业要做。心情已经够烂了，还想怎样？被骗。被骗喔。。我做事认真的时候可以很可怕的。别把我当成病猫。算了。我以后不会再相信你的谎言。心里有种。。。伤心兼难过的心情。真的难以形容啊



你知道你这么不负责，令我无法再像以前一样对待这个世界。无法再信任他人。。我好难过。好像睡。。



我刚想起，若我要离开公初，在离开之前一定要跟新朋友说再见。

再见。。

-.-

1. http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/1/28/703153/9th%20of%20March.mp3
2. http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/1/28/703153/1.%E4%B8%8D%E5%86%8D%E8%AE%A9%E4%BD%A0%E5%AD%A4%E5%8D%95.mp3
3. http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/1/28/703153/Track%206%20-%20Ge%20Qian.mp3

凡是做事都要认真去做。要有目标，不过不要去想后果。打球的时候，赢得观念，要放在肚子里。。脑子里，应该只有打球。

不要轻言而弃，否则对不起自己。

嘿嘿！！我并没有把那件事放在心上。说实在的，只是一种鼓励。真的没关系啦。我不计较这种东西的。懂吗？哈哈哈哈。真的真的没关系啦。我真的真的真的真的没放在心上哩。真的真的真的真的没关系啦。哈哈哈。说真的！！我像是不明事理的人吗？哈哈。不是吧。别客气了。真的真的真的真的真的真的真的真的没关系！！我知道你心里不好受，不过我不希望你觉得是欠我的。哈哈哈，我认为你不欠我任何东西！懂吗？哈哈哈哈
不要害怕会忧伤难过， 也不要担心会孤单寂寞， 你可以放心的去面对， 因为我会在你身边，我的肩膀， 是随时能让你依靠， 你不用跟我多说些什么， 你只要答应我， 以后如果受到委屈， 或是遇到难过的事情， 告诉我， 我会听的。。

星期四去送死吧。至少死，也要二十个人一起面对。我们这一班，算不上是十年好友，不过大家也经历过不少了。。希望大家能进华初，能进莱初，能做自己想做的事情。。韩老师常说：你们都是废物来的！不过，我相信他是口是心非。。希望我们能给老师们一个惊喜，让他们知道，华中零七年的四巳班是最强最强的四巳班。大家可以用歧视的眼光看待我们，不过我们心里都明白，我们跟大家没什么不同，只不过懒了一点罢了。。

祈祷大家都能拿到八分以下的分数。请主耶稣基督拯救我们。阿门。
人在公初，心在莱初，魂在华初。。好烦！
再见了。公初。。

omae wa saitei da

做人还真不容易。。好辛苦啊。听说那星期四，会考成绩将会公布。烦啊。我的生命将变得非常辛苦。希望老天爷能助我一臂之力。。就让我回到华初吧。。求求你了。

其实，对我而言，华初梦为什么那么重要呢？我好像年朋友啊。。我的队友，同学。好多好多人啊。。尤其是队友，我好像年他们。好像年我们往年一起打球，一起“拼江山”时那种爽感。令人回味无穷。这将会是我生命中最美好，最美丽，最难以忘怀的记忆。。公初对我来说是种美丽的意外。真想不到，为什么会让我在这里交到朋友。早知道应该闭嘴不说话。有了朋友，离开时自然会有点伤感啊。好矛盾喔！美丽的意外。我觉得这个说法不错。美丽的意外。。还真是个出乎我预料中美丽的意外喔。

哈哈。我的华文真的是有失水准啊。华中的朋友读了请别见怪喔。哈哈。没办法啦，课堂上都没有几个人愿意以华语沟通。。还真够烦的。

我荒废篮球了。好久没有认真地打球了喔。好久好久好久。。不知现在是否还能如愿以偿地把球头进篮筐里。好了，该用英文吧。

today wasnt a bad day..yeah.rather good..results out on thursday.like wth.whatever -.-

莱初梦，华初梦。。都完蛋了啦。我现在是个等死的人。
放下公初的一切，的确不容易啦，不过有什么办法。。我本来就不属于那里。感觉上自己很像是个孤单的白痴。。早知道就不到公初了。不上学也没损失多少。告诉我，在学校学了多少？我老妈教我的都不止这些了。。算了啦。现在更难放下。早知如此，我当初不该选共处。烦的。

ciao

yo

ok..yesterday was kinda great..but abit ruined by the lack of bball playing.yeah

in the morning, i went to school..wanted to play bball, but seeing the court filled with ppl from the champion team, i didnt dare and didnt want to join in..basically, i went to school.walked to the courts.saw pros playing.decided to go home.walked to nanyang bus stop.took a bus.went home.yeah..

after reaching home i did some situps..then started to practise secret..so noob la..learn like 1 week alr.still cannt do the whole song..zz..but actually most of the time i spent was practising the nice nice part which i like.hahah.the one which sounds really peaceful.yeah.hahaha.slacked arnd abit.fell asleep at 1+ i think.woke up.it was 3..i shld have woke up alot earlier.cos i received like.5 messages while asleep.hey jude was playing all the time i think.hahah.yeah.anyway.went for piano lesson then to ig dinner lo..hahaha

zz..very sian.after all those jio-ing and stuff.only 12 turned up.thats.half? yeah i think so.nvm la.it was actually quite lucky that there were even 12.hahah.what can i say.we had fun i guess.lol

yeahhh..time to go.i wanna slack.

不要轻言放弃，否则对不起自己。。这句话，不是每次都能说的吧。。我开始有点怀疑啊，自强不息永远是对的吗？己利利人，己达达人。。这些都是校训，不过不一定每次都是对的吧。。怎么可能每次都对呢？比如说在球赛里，己利利人，己达达人不太可能办到。。你大可以说，双方不一定要赢啊，从球赛当中也能学到其他重要的道理。。这样也可以算 几利利人，己达达人啊！不过你想想看，哪儿有队伍是上场去输球的。。若要输球不如不打。每个人都想尝到胜利的滋味，不过事实胜于雄辩。。不可能有两个赢家。比赛当中，强中自有强中首，一山还有一山高，一定分得出胜负，一定要定输赢。在这种情况下，如何己利利人，己达达人，己所不欲，勿施于人？不可能的。。

接受现实吧，一定有人会输。哪儿有大家都赢的原理。。荒谬。赢，也只能在其他方面上赢。。

ciao

hahah

cldnt blog well last night.was under the influence of some mild alcohol.haha

anyway..the past week has really been great..but tiring too.haha.eh shit.i must finish quick.10 mins later mus go play bball alr.

i dont think i'll be staying on..yeah.shldnt be..so happy la.hmm..i think most of my ig and classmates have joined their ccas alr..hahaha.i cannt join.cos i too shit alr.nobody wants me la..i drag the cca down. =(( too noob they say..too weak la..for those who joined judo..siao.yall really damn strong (y)..really too sterrrrong..judo lehh..lol.i so weak..judo dont want me.guitar also dont want me..they say im some noob.they asked me :"you think you can play g chord damn big ah?" hahah.haiz..cannt join anything.bridge club also dont want me..i bid bid bid until lose.cannt win a single trick.too bad la.volleyball say i damn noob.cannt even block the ball, still wanna join.haiz..sian la.too noob alr.bball was the worst..they straightaway tell me i shld focus on my studies la..dont play bball alr la.waste of time.you noob.play bball for what..well congrats to jiahong (canoeing) charmaine (judo) dixin (dance) meigi (co?) hahahah.eh..you all strong la.i show you all something ah............(y) strong.

oh my..im hurt =(
well, i dont expect much from my results really..because...i havent put in enough effort.so its only right that i get sucky results.hahaha

ehhh.no cca leh.so sad..hahaha

ciao

take a sad song, and make it better..

zz..busy day tmr..bballing with the team..hahaha.then...piano lesson.then..hopefully ig outing...yeah.ok..goodnews.i managed to take the secret playing to a higher level.hahaha.abit faster with more dynamics.

zz..the version of hey jude i like the most is the one on the david frost show..yeah..that version is really nice.paul's voice seems so fresh and..new.in that version.much unlike the other versions.dont let me down....you have found her, now go and get her..remember to let her into your heart, then you can start, to make it better......yeah.

ok..summary of the past week..im missing hc.alot..im so glad i can play with them tmr..bballers.lol.yeah..shld get krongy a present.lol

至少现在，我把一些事情搞清楚了，放心许多。。我要的只是一个保证。我不在白城，哪儿会知道发生什么事。。只好信赖你了。哈哈。

我好累哦。。鸡蛋糕的。阿康的生日一到，我便会祝他生日快乐。然后睡觉，准备打球。好计划！

再见咯

烦的哩。。真的。好烦哦！这个月我非死不可。完蛋。　我的电话不断传出嘿朱迪的铃声。。没办法，通知大家是我的责任嘛。。躲也躲不了的。好，只剩下一两个人没确定，一确定了我便能睡觉，好累啊！

烦烦烦烦烦。。心里好乱。白天还挺高兴的啦，现在居然心情大变。好恶心啊。好讨厌。鸡蛋糕的。。还真是无聊透顶。。烦的哩。

如说这些都没发生，那些事情会发生吗？哎呀，这种问题没有答案的。自己去想吧，我的好朋友。。怎么要吵架呢？吵架有用吗？意见不同是难免的嘛。。有些事情真的很难判断谁对谁错。见仁见智啦。。

己利利人，己达达人

byebye

hmmm

well..

i dont like it when songs are sang in a jazzy way..i mean.i dont like the original songs to be sang in a jazz kinda way.its not that i dont like jazz.hahaha.

well.i heard 2 oldies today..really nice songs.hahaha.really very nice
1.Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain
2.Because i love you

The only girl I care about has gone away
Looking for a brand-new start
But little does she know that when she left that day
Along with her she took my heart

super nice.hahahaha.i really like it alot..very hawaiian like that.hahaha.because i love you is simply just damn nice..oh shit..i havent finished chem la..i feel like a slacker.oh anyway..concert was rather cool..but i screwed up la.haha.dad and mom came..they said i looked nervous.but i really wasnt nervous la.i mean, i've played in front of the whole cohort, and screwed up, what can be worse? hahaha..nothing much

bloody hell.im skipping chem tutorial wksheet first..cannt take it la..really cannt.im not in the right state to think now..i think do some gp first..tired of chem..gotta pia, but nows not the time to..alot of stuff to settle..haiz.

sian, i havent finished learning secret..im trying to like play high speed kind.yeah.

我真的不了解你啊。。怎么才几个月，一个人能变得那么多。根本判若两人，一点都不像以前那么开朗，那么好笑，那么有趣。。你这样，一个女人，让我欢喜让我忧，让我甘心为了你付出我所有。。现在感觉不同了。嗨。。

失望。

再见

hmm

double posting in one day....well.i went to coro to meet the bballers just now..it was really fun! although we didnt stay for long, it was great to see them..yeah..hahah.who was there uhh..not many ppl la.err.kng, tan, lim, chong, phoon, ng..then after lim, ng and chong went home..i went to town with kng, tan and phoon..phoon went off to join his og mates.while we and tan crashed kng's og outing.lol..went to sing songs..

what the hell.i save money save until so happy, now all gone la.$14.40 wth? shit man.hahahaa.twenty dollars gone in a day..but it was really fun..his grp ppl damn enthu la.hahaha.all sing one.got yutung! hahahh.i had fun la.hey jude and yesterday..lol! great songs

四到五个小时的快乐时光，果然过得很快。幸亏今天能有队友的陪伴，不然我也真得不知所措。哈哈哈。队友始终是队友啦，一起练习，一起流血，一起流汗，一起流泪。。我们之间的友情实在是无法取代的。可是，就这样，一天过去了，很快我又要回到公初上课。嗨。。好无聊喔。队友值万金！说真的，我还真受够了。没办法啦，谁叫我在华中不努力，到了公初才后悔莫及。讨厌，好烦的哩！

well..if im going to organise an outing, i'll need schedules..and guess what?? i dont have any schedules..everyone wants outing.ask for outing.some ppl tell me which days they are free.but in the end, when timetable comes out it will screw up..so no point anyway..some ppl wan it on weekends, some ppl cant make it on weekends..haiz..what to do?

really up to you all la..im insignificant.

byebye

homework.

doing homework is fun..but im not having any fun now..

look at this man..who am i now.who are you? retarded..

是我多疑了吧？没事？怎么可能没事？开玩笑。我也没那么笨，至少我会想。好无聊，好累。我想回到过去。

哈哈，我想回华初，华初不要我。我想去莱初，莱初不要我。我还真希望当时没被分配到第十七号组，认识那么多好人，现在还真有点舍不得。。没关系啦。天下无不散的宴席，虽然这将会是一个很伤感的离别，不过戏总会演完，游戏总会结束。该走的时候必须放下一切。。希望大家还能保持联络。你们这群人真是出乎我的预料。我本以为只有名校的人不会guailan，不会kaobei。。谁知道，在第十七号组里，我居然是最粗鲁，最爱骂脏话的人。说来还真惭愧喔，四年以来，大家一直不停地骂脏话，也不觉得有什么不对劲啊。该改了。

原本我真的以为邻里学校的人都爱骂脏话，爱作弄人，第十七号组令我从错误的想法中恍然大悟。哈哈哈哈哈！！我刚发现，十七号组的同学已认识十天了。刚好想起一首歌：十年。。十天之前，我不认识你，你不认识我，我们都是一样，坐在一个陌生人左右，走过渐渐熟悉的街头。十天之后，我们是朋友，还可以问候，只是较难开口，再也找不到谈话的理由，朋友渐渐疏远成为相识。

希望我们的友情会长久。有时还真奇怪，才认识十天，怎么感觉上已经好久好久好久了。。虽然这十天内我们有过不少开心的时刻，不过快乐时光总是过得很快。。把这次的经验当作是一种美丽的回忆也不错嘛。。哈哈，不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有。。能拥有一段快乐的时光，已算非常幸福了。哈哈，告诉我为什么呢？嗨，唉声叹气也不是办法，我看我还是尽快举行一次活动，让大家都能重逢，我看得出，大家都很喜欢第十七号组。。我并不清楚我们将来回到哪间学院上课，但我心里有数，这大概会是我们第一次，也是最后一次的团体活动。并不是我想感情用事，不过我们往往都得接受事实。。

上个拜三，大家互不相识。这个拜六，大家已经成为朋友。超笨。哈哈哈哈哈！若早知只有三天的时间，大家就不会那么安静了。哈。没办法啦。

好多人似乎对华中生有好大的偏见。认为我们非常落后，爱以华语沟通。我老实说吧。华中的设备并不落后。哈哈哈。学生也非常惯于应用双语沟通。

now you want me to forget every little thing you said, but there is something left in my head..michael learns to rock - that's why....its such a great song..so sad..

I won't forget the way you're kissing, the feelings so strong were lasting for so long, but I'm not the man your heart is missing, that's why you go away i know...

若你读到这里，你大概不是十七号组的同学。哈哈哈！

大家保重啊

再见

lol.sorry for the title..but i think its quite apt.yeah.

today was great.i mean..yeah.lectures were fine.ahahaha

after school, celebrated jiahong's birthday..then i didnt knw where to go..so many ppl have trials and all, but i dont wanna go bball trials..my bball so lousy, get owned la.hahahaha.ended up i thought i wanted to go to town..took 132 with jane and dixin..i called my sisterrr at far east stop, turns out she was in school.so.forget it.rode all the way to bukit merah interchange.strong (y).dixin alighted at crescent..jane was so nice to accompany me all the way =) lol

yah..jane wanted to buy sweets..but i wanted to pee..so we went to macs to pee..ended up eating there.like wth? hahahaha.then talk cock awhile.and went to ntuc to buy stuff.and jane went to her friend's hse, while i went home.took 132.i wanted to alight at rtc to change bus, but too lazy..just sat to macritchie then took 157 home.hahaha.very tired..

hahaha.great..great.i cant go out tmr..cos theres like piano.wth? damn..i need to train soon...im starting air alert again..need a jump..but with all the injuries and stuff..its quite hard lah..

i never loved anything more than bball..but theres really alot to life..alot more than basketball and studies and girls..its really about how you deal with stuff and make decisions..some stuff hard to settle..its one thing to fight a battle by yourself, and another to entrust the war to your comrade far away..on site fighting is always better..im going to lose man...tell me how to win.

when no one believes in me..the only thing i can do is really to believe in myself..

有些人还真够执着的，就是不肯放弃。这几天，我有想过啊，放弃是否是对的呢？不战而退，是否是正确的选择？华中校训，己利利人，己达达人。我所作出的选择是否对得起老师的教导？你是你，我是我，你作出什么中选择我不知道，不过我希望对我们都有利。大家也算蛮熟的，坦白一点，对我们都有好处。

哈哈，为什么用华语？简单，新同学个个不习惯用华语。他们不一定会读得完这个长篇大论。对我来说，那是件好事。他们并不需要知道我太多事情。反正，多一个月，我们很可能再也不会见面，见面也不会说话。我对班级是没有什么感情，可是十七号组的朋友都算不错的。嗨。没什么啦，反正我本来就不属于英校，英校生个个人为华中生不会说英语。事实上，是英校生不会说华语。

我敷衍人也敷衍够了。该做会原来的自己。会打球的自己，喜爱篮球的自己。找回原来的我，不简单啊！在公初，我几乎每句说的话都是谎话，为了不要节外生枝，随便以三言两语敷衍他人。我也太没公德心了。

你愿意吗？愿意放弃一切吗？我也没话说啦，见机行事咯.

sometimes ppl ask me,are you happy or sad? i dont knw how to ans that kinda question leh.really.i mean.sometimes im sad, bt i try to coveritup by looking happy and cracking jokes..many ppl havent seen me upset or angry before..but maybe thats because i dont wanna look upset..

give up give up, let go let go..i think if we keep letting go and giving up, theres not much point in life anyway..thinking we'll be happier giving up some things.thats wrong too....well..too much to talk about now.im really tired.i have alot of things to freaking do..and i wanna pon piano tmr.must pon early.

byebye

finally, i found time

how about you? found any time yet? hah.

take a sad song, and make it betterrr..remember to let her into your heart..then you can start to make it better.

hah..today was the start of our lectures.well..i gotta say.for math lecture was pretty slack..for now luh i mean...compared to sung, its really alot more slack.in a class of 20, with sung as your math teacher.you get picked on all the time, esp for weak guys like me, suck at math =(( damn sad...the only test i was ever proud about was permutations and combinations.which i topped.like omg? wth?? sung cldnt believe it man.top the class..wow.like..first time ever.this loser topped the class in a math test.but once only la..and i only won zh by like 2 pts..thats so..insignificant.nevertheless, its still an achievement la ok?? hahaha.anyway..math and chem lectures today were rather slack..i completed the chem wksheet i think?? im not sure, i might have left something out..all wrong one la..im just making an attempt to finish the only chem wksheet i'll ever get to finish..hahaha.clap for me pls.

yeah.maybe i shld take this time to clarify some doubts.for those who still think im gay..awww..no.im not gay.i have like 0 sexual interest in guys..its not 0.its probably negative.lol.im not bisexual either..do i have to make it so clear? hahahaha.I ONLY LIKE GIRLS.they dont call me 色狼 for nothing.hor hs? hahahah.i still cant believe it..a joke can spread like fire.wth? hahaha.im not gay, i was never gay, i wont turn gay..i'll never.im born normal.stayed normal, going to stay normal forever.

tmr dont knw how many million lectures la.i dont knw and actually dont really care.hahaha.as long as i learn something from it, i dont give a damn how boring it is..well..look at me now.im finally learning to display what a hc guy was supposed to display, determination for mugging.since i see all my teammates and friends waiting for me back there..i dont think it wld be fair to stay on in cjc..much as i have grown to like the school and my new friends.haha.its alot easier to make friends in cj than in hc..i can tell you.the ppl 10 times more open.lol.

i remember that time someone put on a skit where one of the guys posed as girls..and he was warned for that.they dont do that in cjc...well.i dont knw about which kind i prefer la.but to tell the truth, you'll always love your secondary school more.its just pure luck that hc is tchs and hcjc put together.lol.

i remember something the councillor said to me on my first day in the then 华中, the chinese high school..he said he once asked..why must there be a THE in frnt of chinese high school.lol? that was one gay question.lol.i loved it.during that time, we were still wearing the yellow pe and red pants.remember?? hahahahahaha it was so damned funny.but i thought the pe looked really cool then.hahaha =P

everybody misses hc..knw why? cos their facilities really..siao.shuang diao.for those new to hc, you really need facilitators to bring you arnd one..cannt say happy happy walk arnd..you wont get lost la, but you'll walk a really long way to reach your destination if you're unlucky..siao..i really miss everything.the track, the pool, poolside, the blocks, clock tower, library, kkh, audi, drama centre, salt centre, canteen..most imptly..bball courts.like wth?? hahaaha.bball courts i miss the most.rmb i used to visit the courts everyday, no matter how late it was, i wld just walk there to take a look..for those who knw..hc bball courts not really that accessible,its like.the lowest point in hc campus, so its all the way down the stairs..hahaha.i counted before..from the top of the hill, all the way down is arnd 7 storeys the height..not too sure la..arnd t here.maybe 6.and for hc..its not you wanna go home means go home..you have to crawl to the bus stop, and for me so unlucky, still have to drag myself to nanyang side..haiz..but.i miss the school.

lol.i blog more about it tmr la.yah..rockers.rock on.

华中on 3...ok ok?? 1 2 3..华中！eh! 华中！eh! 华中！EHHHH!!!!

我好想念你喔，你在白城过得还好吧？不要轻言放弃，否则对不起自己！要等我啊！我说过一定尽量去陪你的。哈哈

ciao.happy birthday jiahong =)

还真烦的

老实说，我并不太习惯，也不太喜欢用华语写日记。不幸得是，公教初级学院的学生多数不以华语沟通，他们较喜欢以英语表达自己的思想。在这种环境下，我若不多运用华语，相信不久我将无法顺利地以华语沟通了。

这几天，还算是不错啦，交了不少新朋友。可惜得是，学校要我们分班。我老实说吧，我并不喜欢自己的班。感觉上大家都没有第十七组那么友善，与他们讲起话来也非常不自在。有些事情还真得蛮奇怪的喔！我与第十七组也只不过有三天的交情罢了，我怎么会那么积极地约大家出门呢？说起来还真怪啊！我也不知道自己为何那么做，我只知道十七组对我来说是一种美丽的意外。我是认真的！

被分配去公教，我本身并不高兴，也不满意，更不愿意！第一天，我到公教时，根本不想和任何人交朋友，也不怎么向参与活动啦！过了三天以后，我才发现自己好喜欢公初第十七组！

哈，我不在的日子里，你还好吧？其实我还真放不下心啊，我人在公初，心却不在。感觉很矛盾，一方面我非常喜欢我的新朋友，不过我无法用心对待他们。心不在焉啊。

四年前，我若去莱佛士学院，现在就不用那么辛苦了。真笨啊我。嗨！好讨厌，现在常常胡思乱想！！凡事都太多疑，对身体不健康喔。

好了，其实我也不是白痴，你敷衍我，我是知道的。世界上并没有忙人。大家都有二十四小时，问题是，每个人都会用多数的时间做自己重视或喜欢的活动。你敷衍我，代表你并不把我放在眼里，更不认为我很重要。对此，我是有点失望。有机会我们应该好好谈谈啊。

不闻不问，不理不睬，不听不想，认定自己应该关心一个人。哈哈。这种想法简直太笨了吧。
时间久了，我们迟早得走向自己的目标，不过现在是否有点早？我是认为早了些吧。你若有仔细读到这里的话，请你了解我的心情。这感觉非常难受啊。想管也管不了。妈的，还真烦哩！

well..if you cant read chinese well, or dont feel like reading chinese.the whole passage simply meant nothing..hahaha.it was crap lah.hahahah.unimportant,insignificant..summary of today = so so..

i went into town after school.it was damn dumb..seriously damn dumb.i spent almost half an hr looking for a store..and found that they didnt sell what i wanted.whatever -.-

他们说：“不要轻言放弃，否则对不起自己。" 真的吗？哈哈

tmr will be a sian day..really..i promise if ig17 nvr break up we'll have alot more fun..and i promise i wld nt talk cock all the time.eh seriously ah..im thinking of ponning la..if not because of my mum i wld pon alr..sian leh..

DREAM TEAM LOOK HERE LETS PLAY/GO OUT SOON

wahh..sianneh.

ciao

zzz

ok.i have some time.shall blog abt orientation.hahaha

first day was really damn screwed.i really wasnt happy about it luh.i mean.yeah.i really belong in hc.i really wanna go rj.but i was in cj..abit 不甘愿..so just loner arnd until they told us to go to the hall.even then, i went in almost last.and i had only one guy from our grp sitting behind me.wanna guess who? hahaha.no prizes man.yeah..i cant rmb who was in front of me.lol.well..truth be told.at that time, i didnt think i'd like my grp.and i didnt give a damn anyway.

yeah..so.we were sent to play icebreakers..but nobody was overly enthu luh..everybody sian sian -.- i see alr also sian sian..then went for subj combi talk i think.lol i seriously cannt rmb.anyway heck.yahh.played some bonding games after lunch..hahaha.first day ended really soon.i decided that i really missed hc.and i went back to have lunch..

second day third day was seriously full of crap because everybody opened up abit alr..hahahah.yeah.so ok lo.not too bad lah.bloody hell.hahaha.

IG orientation ended really soon.i mean.before we knew it.over alr! lol.its bloody troublesome la please..now have to start knowing the class all over again.gahh.just forget it la.straight to lessons can or not? hahaha.im starting to get seriously sick of games.and besides, i dont think it'll be fun having 3 days to knw new ppl all over again.sian leh..damn tired.lol

summary.i grew to like my group.i think my grp not bad lah..impossible to find another grp like this anywhere else(duh)..nobody's exactly enthu about everything.but everybody - phil participates..not bad la.hahah.im glad i was in 17.really.truthfully.seriously.siao siao.sian la.i think i'll miss the grp.

tsk..trying to plan ig outing luh..so far got..9 ppl say ok alr.the rest i dont knw..eh now i think i'm super super sure, i'll miss the grp.lol.alot alot.hahaha.sian la..you all cannt understand how i really feel about it man..ITS SO TROUBLESOME..GAHH??

LOL WTH..MY DADDY TEACHING MY BROS DU LAN.>HAHAHHAHHAH WTF?? AND GUAI LAN HE ALSO TEACH..siao liao..the world is changing man..

eh dream team, outing soon leh..please.dont keep me waiting.i sian alr..so long nvr see you guys.lol.come crash orientation la.we friendly with cj team want? hahahah =P

lol..white castle is where i want to be..wait for me.dont run away..lol.

please..if i get 8 and below for o lvls.i promise i'll lie less than 1000 times per year..i wont scold vulgarities.i'll hand in my assignments.go for training all the time just like i did back in hc..i promise.i'll be a different person =(( just open the gates and let me into white castle! pleaseee.

ciao

retarded

i left livejournal alone because i didnt like it..

yeah..i still like this blogskin alot.lol.hmm.about this week.monday i went to malaysia.tuesday was new year i stayed at home.wednesday was first day of school, posted to cj..orientation all the way till now..not sure if i wanna elab about it.hahah.it seems like these 3 days have been rather long.one day after another.tsk..i sorta forgot what we did alr.lol.

throughout the three days..i think i learnt quite alot.but when we were not doing any activities i had only 1 phrase playing over and over and over again in my mind.

fk off kojak
i cant stand it lahh.just the thought of it makes me pissed..
i wish i cld tell you sth about what really happened..but i guess that wld either bore you or you wldnt give a damn anyway..it takes 2 hands to play the guitar.it takes 2 legs to walk..with one hand, you'll have to play an electric guitar and turn up the distortion and vol of your amp.with 1 leg, you can only hop..you'll get tired soon and stop moving altogether..make some effort pls..

ohh.paul mccartney is really great.hahaha.i have a chance to restring my guitar..maybe i'll really restring it left handed.im learning jay chou's secret too.lol.piano..i feel so bad.i didnt practise my scales.

what happens when you lose faith? what happens when trust is lost? hahaha.i dont knw.seriously.

im wondering.how insignificant am i? do i get a 1 sf? talk about significant figures man..hahah.

ciao

Dedicated to the number 14